What a difference 40+ weeks can make! So much has changed for me. Jumping right into it, the biggest and best change is that I am now a Mommy to two little humans. In early February, my little princess entered the world and it has been beautiful chaos ever since. Like most moms, sleep is a hot commodity and I don’t really know what that is anymore. Why didn’t anyone tell me that having one child is one, but having two kids is like having twenty! There is a real balance that I try to maintain between my 5 year old and Baby Sister. I must admit that I don’t get that balance right all of the time. What I have gotten better at is accepting that I am only one person and everything that I give and pour into my kids is enough. I, as their mom, to them am enough. That is a gratifying thought. Now as I work towards restoring sanity to and for myself, I want to share a few quick things that are helping me get some form of order and affirmation back.
- Defining and finding where my happy place is. We all know that kids can easily slide their way to the top of the priority list. So much so, that it becomes normal for you to be second, third, fourth or dead last on the list. It is somewhat cliché, but you can’t pour into anyone else until you pour into yourself. I really don’t think you can be told that enough. Get the pedicure. Read the book. Pay for the sitter and go to the happy hour. You have to seek out, demand and breathe your oxygen. Superwoman doesn’t always have to be so super. Happiness comes in different forms. So many times, we try to work ourselves into our spouse's and kids' lives and define that as our total happiness. Find the one thing that would bring you happiness even if you didn’t have kids or a mate. Find it and do it!
- Let it Go! I find myself having an Elsa moment at least 20 times a day. That load of laundry just might not get folded and that’s okay. You just might have to make life decisions between washing that dish or eating. Because I like food, I would chose to eat, but you might not like that dish in the sink. My point is, take the pressure off. Ten times out of ten, it’s pressure that we place on ourselves. Don’t wrap yourself up in the things that might not be as important at the end of the day. If the kids are safe, fed and not hanging upside down from the ceiling fan, you are winning and have survived to fight another day.
- Phone a friend. Look…my mom friends have kept me from running away from home. I’m kidding. Maybe! You can read a ton of affirming words, but there is something about having a person/persons that can totally relate and help you check yourself back into the real reality of you. Sometimes, you just have to hear it. It’s better that it come from a person that you know understands without judgment. It’s like losing weight. You can workout and eat right, but you see yourself everyday and the results aren’t as visible. Sometimes you can’t see yourself as others can.
These quick things have all probably been told to you at some point and time. I’m sure you have heard it before. It’s not rocket science, but we need to hear it from time to time just to be reminded. Everyone rocks motherhood differently, give it your best and judge your success at it solely by the love you receive from those who mean the most.